Lorde’s Liability has been looping on my player for at least 10 times, and I’m still thinking of how my relationships have turned out in the past few years. One after another, I fell for guys who’re in it for the excitement and not commitment; the ones who promised stars from the sky and sand from the moon; the ones who seemed to really care, only to say that they’re not ready when you decided that you’re ready to try it out. Over and over again, I found myself losing a part of myself to how they felt about me.
The truth is I am a toy
That people enjoy
‘Til all of the tricks don’t work anymore
And then they are bored of me
– Liability, Lorde
I questioned the reasons they stopped loving me. I looked into our differences and blamed myself for my flaws and what my partners didn’t like. That’s what you do when you’re blindly in love – you only have your partner in mind, and you lose yourself completely. You forget to love yourself as you divert all focus to them, and end up forgetting your true worth.
So here’s a reminder to those of you who are rejected, whether in relationship or in life, by someone better or worse than you, that you are worth more than just your flaws. I know some of the faults are mine that things don’t work out the way I want them to, but I’m also reminding myself of what I believe I’m worth. Like Kintsugi, this broken heart of mine is mended with gold, and I only hope that one day, someone who appreciates this art will take it and love it as if it’s his own, just like how I’ll love his as my own.