Okay, Valentine’s Day is coming up and I thought I should blog about something romance-related. I was listening to a friend’s experience of a failed date last week and I thought, “Why not share some advice for the guys on the do’s and dont’s when asking a girl out? That’ll be useful!”
(P/s: I am in no place to be a love guru, the advice given are based on what my friends’ and my preference.)
Tip #1 (and the most important tip) – Be bold when you ask her out
Tell her, “I want to take you out ON A DATE.”
Yes, state explicitly that it is a date. The most annoying part these days is the confusion between “hanging out” and “a date.” You might be afraid of being rejected or scaring her away, but at the same time she might get the wrong message. By telling her that it is a date, she knows what to wear, what kind of setting it will be and most importantly, what your motives are.
It is perfectly okay to ask a girl out on a date even if you do not know her well. A date is meant for you to explore the possibility of romance and to get to know each other better, and it is okay if it doesn’t work out and you don’t want to see each other after that.
Although it might make things awkward (if it doesn’t work out), wouldn’t it be better than being awkward from you thinking it is a date and her thinking it’s a just-a-friend thing? If she is also interested in getting to know you better, she will definitely accept your invitation.
Trust me, a guy who says, “I would like to take you out on a date” instead of “we should hang out” appears bold, confident and more attractive for a woman.
Tip #2 – Be considerate when selecting the venue
Go to somewhere you can have an actual conversation,
and think of her when you make the decision
The main goal of the day/night out is to connect. You want to talk about yourselves and you want to get to know each other. That fun party or that amazing concert can wait, or if you really want to, have a meal together before or after that event. You don’t have to take her to a super-fancy-expensive restaurant, but be sure to choose somewhere that you can feel “something special” too.
When looking into venue choices, think in terms of her convenience and preference too. If she’s most likely going to wear heels or a dress, you don’t want somewhere cold or muddy or where she has to walk a long distance. She just put in the effort to dress up for you, please don’t take her to the Korean BBQ place that will stink her hair up or that seafood restaurant where she needs to wear an ugly bib. Please, just don’t.
Tip #3 – Don’t overwhelm her during your conversation
You want to know her, and she wants to know you too
Pretty self-explanatory. Know the balance between asking too much or too little, and sharing too much or too little. You don’t want the date to turn out like an interview. At the same time, you don’t want her to be lost in the conversation full of yourself too. Talk about things that are your determining points on whether or not to date a person, and on things that you want them to know about you.
Note: Don’t ever start spamming her with terms from your field of studies/work, she wants to know about you, not your expertise!
Tip #4 – Be generous with the bill
Offer to pay the bill, and only let her pay if she insists
Although it is very common for people to split the bill during dates these days, you should always be prepared to pay for the bill during your first date. You asked her out, you want to impress her, you offer to pay the bill. Most of the time they will allow you to do so, as that’s a way to let you know that they enjoyed their evening out. If they insist on paying, there are 2 possibilities: a) they really did not enjoy the dinner; or b) they are just too rich and powerful and strong to want a guy to pay for their meal.
P/s: Many girls who offer to split the bills secretly want you to insist too.
Tip #5 – End the night with a good note
Tell her how you feel,
Don’t end it awkwardly (at least, try not to)
Err…. You had a great night, now what? The farewell part of the first date can be really awkward. You just had a pretty in depth/flirtatious conversation with someone you’re interested in. You’re not sure if she really enjoyed the date or if she’s going to go on another date with you again. So, what do you do? Depending on the situation, give her a hug and tell her how you feel about the night. Offer to give her a ride home if you’re driving, and if you can’t, text her to make sure she gets home safe. Girls get touched over these sweet little details. If you were too nervous/too awkward to tell her your feeling before you bid farewell, text her later that night then. It’s always good to be honest with your feelings whether or not it is a good turnout, just be careful with your words.
And that’s all that I have for you today. It was actually a lot of fun going through these tips with my housemate as we talked about things that we like/dislike about what a guy does during a date. I’m not sure if guys ever talked about these, but I thought it’ll be great for me to offer something to my male readers instead (since I always talked about female stuffs), so yea, hope you enjoyed it!
Remember, you don’t need to wait till Valentine’s Day to ask a girl out, although Valentine’s is a very good excuse to get a good start. Good luck for your date while I try to get a ticket for Fifty Shades of Grey in the cinema with my girlfriends. HAHA.