I’m Not Lonely, I’m Just Alone.

I’m Not Lonely, I’m Just Alone.

Hi all! As you have already seen the picture on my Instagram or Facebook page last weekend, this is a better shot of the Christmas lights along Wesbrook Mall I took with my camera. Isn’t it just beautiful? The lights really compliment the remaining red leaves hanging on the tree, and it cheered me up so much knowing the holiday is coming!

Classes of my first semester just ended yesterday, and finals are starting next week. Besides the fact that I’m not ready for any of my finals, I still have to work on a report and an assignment due next week. Tough time in university, tough time… But well, at least I had Black Friday keeping me busy today and my A Capella performance on Sunday to keep me excited!

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So, let’s get into the topic for today… Ever since I started living by myself this semester, I’ve been turning into a soloist more than I’ve used to be. I got used to eating alone, shopping by myself and going around alone; I’ve been spending more time with myself instead of being with friends.

It might sounds sad when you first know about it, especially when you think of me as “that person who’s always surrounded by fun friends and activities”. Yea I am that person and will always be, it’s just that I’d learned to take a break in between those fun stuff to have some time with myself too. In a way, I had come to know myself better and had become a better friend to myself. So, don’t worry!

Last Friday, after going around town getting Christmas gifts for the family back home, I spontaneously went to Queen Elizabeth Park just to enjoy the view and reward myself after my crazy week.

The walk up to the park, wilted trees welcoming me for winter.
Reached the top of QE Park, where I got to witness the magnificent sunset despite the cold weather.
 

As I sat at the lookout point, sipping the Earl Grey I had in my thermos, I felt as though God was talking to me through the quietness and serenity in the park. I was lost in my mind, thinking of all that had been bothering me. No, it’s not as though the problems could be solved easily just by sitting there thinking of them, but it definitely made me feel better knowing that God is there with me throughout all these tough times.

 

I didn’t sit there for long, as the sky was turning dark and it was getting really cold. So I walked down the park, along the path that was surrounded by different plants and little interesting things that captured my attention. Although it’s winter and the plants were wilting away, they still looked beautiful in their way.

 
Plants that feels like home to creatures like Hobbits or Dwarfs.
Some part of the waterfall was already frozen due to the cold weather
That tree reminded me of Whomping Willow from Harry Potter.

It was pretty interesting when I was reminded of God and my religion that day, and all of a sudden while I was getting to the bus stop back home, there was this beautiful Catholic church right behind the stop. I guess God wanted to reassure me that what I thought was right? Hmm… Anyways it’s a really pretty church with a crucifix right outside, but it was too late and dark that I couldn’t check out the place!

Holy Name of Jesus Catholic Church, I will visit you some day. 🙂

 

And that was my random Friday with myself, I ended the day out with a sushi meal near my place and rejecting an invitation to party with my bestie that night. Although I felt bad for not joining the party, I’m kinda satisfied with myself for all the self-control I’m having. Oh, I ended up watching The Last Song and crying my ass off on my bed that night. 😛

When posted on Instagram, my friend Ling hashtag-ed something really true: #solitaryforthewin

 

This might seem to be a random post, but I just thought of sharing what I’ve been going through lately. At first when I realized I’m turning into a soloist, I thought of myself as a poor little lonely kid drifting away from her friends. And then I realized it’s not really that way; this is part of life, I’m growing up, and these solitary moments are going to be one of the most valuable parts of my life.

“Being solitary is being alone well: 
being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your won presence rather than of the absence of others. 
Because solitude is an achievement.


– Alice Koller

xx Wendy